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Deviant Dreams by Demi Wylde


Confessions of a Sexual Deviant

I remember a time when I was about six or seven. I was standing in my mom's shower. While the hot water cascaded down my tiny frame, I felt my mind wander to some pretty far off places when I asked myself:

"Why am I me?"

This was definitely a very peculiar thing for a seven year old to ponder during bath time, but I couldn't help but obsess about it. This deep, existential wondering of why am I even here on this planet sent goosebumps up and down my arms every time I thought it. I never told anyone about these things that stuck in my mind like a thorn, but the search for meaning never left me, and continued well into adulthood.

Cut to early 2016 - I had left my boyfriend of nearly 5 years, my closest friends had all abandoned me, and my grandmother had passed away. I was also homeless. I was so alone. There were many nights when I turned to drinking, drugs, sex, and other deviant behavior in order to numb this immense pain I felt. My sexual escapism also led to my own HIV diagnosis, and a subsequent breakup. I was angry, guilty, and cried every night.


Literature scholars would describe this as "the dark night of the soul." I strongly believe this to be the year of my spiritual awakening. It was the catalyst, the moment in time that started a deep profound internal change, and a return to that question of why am I me?


I needed to find answers.

I spent the next few years trying to take my life back. Health became my #1 priority, and my search for meaning led me down a path consisting of nude yoga and connecting with myself spiritually. I realized that the darkness that I had experienced in childhood, as well as an adult, was the path I needed to travel to create purpose in my life. And much of that trauma had to do with sex and relationships.

I went back home and started studying communications and Journalism. From there I learned the importance of communication in relationships and rekindled my love of writing. I also decided that if I was guilty of this deviant sexual behavior, I may as well lead with it. This eventually led to the creation of my podcast: Hookup Horror Stories with Demi Wylde! Understanding sexuality quickly became my calling, and this platform allowed me to discuss other important issues such as HIV advocacy, abortion rights, and bringing awareness to sex trafficking and trauma survivors.


Through this process I also published two chapbooks of poetry: "Bitter Blue Pill" and "All Was Nothing in the Time of Champions," I also began chronicling my own sexcapades in my blog, The Deviant Diaries, and through my unorthodox education I started archiving everything I've learned about sex and relationships in A Deviant's Guide to Sex. You can read both blogs on my website, and pick up a copy of my books from Amazon.

Remember that if you ever find yourself in a dark place, and are paralyzed by shame, fear, or guilt, remember this quote by the Sufi poet, Rumi, who once said: 


"the wound is where the light enters you,"


Because it is within this very darkness that your greatest gift lies.

Choose light.

Godspeed, starseed.



Demitri (Demi) Wylde is an author, content creator, and sex educator based out of Los Angeles, CA.

He is the CEO of Wylde Heart Media, and hosts the podcast Hookup Horror Stories with Demi Wylde. 

His blogs "The Deviant Diaries" and "A Deviant's Guide to Sex" are available at

His poetry chapbooks, "Bitter Blue Pill," and"All Was Nothing in the Time of Champions,"

are both available from

Demi is also an HIV, women's reproductive rights, and a certified human trafficking awareness advocate.

On a personal note, he is also a multi-disciplinary artist, tarot reader, paranormal enthusiast, horror movie fan, avid podcast listener, music nut, book store peruser, and art collector who currently lives in Hollywood with his dog, Buddy.

About Me: About Me
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“Sex is the ultimate act of creation. Whether you are gay, straight, or anything in between, you are sharing energy and creating something new. There's definitely something spiritual about that.”

- Demitri Wylde

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