top of page
"Love & Light" by Demitri Wylde


Confessions of a Spiritual, Sexual Deviant

I remember a time when I was about six or seven. I was standing in my mom's shower. While the hot water cascaded down my tiny frame, I felt my mind wander to some pretty far off places when I asked myself:

"Why am I me?"

This was definitely a very peculiar thing for a seven year old to ponder during bath time, but I couldn't help but obsess about it. This deep, existential wondering of why am I even here on this planet sent goosebumps up and down my arms every time I thought it. I never told anyone about these things that stuck in my mind like a thorn, but the search for meaning never left me, and continued well into adulthood.

Cut to early 2016 - I had left my boyfriend of nearly 5 years, my closest friends abandoned me, and my grandmother had passed away. I was also homeless. I was so alone. There were many nights when I turned to drinking, drugs, sex, and other deviant behavior in order to numb this immense pain I felt. So many nights I spent angry, wracked with guilt, and crying. I didn't know where I belonged. Literature scholars would describe this as "the dark night of the soul." I strongly believe this to be the year of my spiritual awakening. It was the catalyst, the moment in time that started a deep profound internal change, and a return to that question of why am I me?


I needed to find answers.

I spent the next few years trying to take my life back, and my search for meaning led me down a path consisting of astrological readings, tarot cards, angel numbers, dream interpretations, yoga in the nude, and connecting with my spiritual guides. I learned all I could about the esoteric and realized that the darkness that I had experienced in childhood and as an adult, was the path I needed to go on in order to create purpose in my life. My trauma was the very key needed to unlocking my magic.

So I decided that if I was guilty of this deviant sexual behavior, rather than let it consume me, I may as well lead with it. The chronicles of my sexcapades became my blog,  #HookupHorrorStories, and they are as much a public therapy session, as much a humorous, cautionary tale of how things can go very badly when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships. The world is in such desperate need for a guide on how to navigate the murky waters of sex and dating, and this became A Deviant's Guide to Sex: the modern how-to guide on everything sex, dating, relationships, hygiene, interpersonal issues, and even kinks and taboos! All from a feminist, LGBT, and all gender-inclusive perspective. It's everything a proper sexual deviant needs to know! You can read both blogs right here on this site.

Thank you for reading my story, and remember that if you ever find yourself in a dark place filled with shame, fear, or guilt over things that you've done, remember the quote by 13th century Sufi poet, Rumi, who said: "the wound is where the light enters you," and from it's from this very darkness that your light is born.

Godspeed, starseed.



Demitri (Demi) Wylde is a professional creative writer and entrepreneur based out of Los Angeles, CA. He is the founder and CEO of Wylde Heart Media, a digital media company dedicated to delivering quality content, such as the hit comedy podcast A Cosmic Journey with Demi and J. He is a twice self-published author, his poetry chapbooks, "Bitter Blue Pill," and"All Was Nothing in the Time of Champions," are available on You can find various articles he has written about art, sex, and mental health on, and you can find his blogs #HookupHorrorStories and A Deviant's Guide to Sex, here on this site. 

Demi loves film and television and hopes to one day write for a TV show, and to develop an original screenplay. He also enjoys exploring museums in new cities, reading tarot for friends, listening to true crime podcasts, hearing anything about alien encounters or conspiracy theories, going ghost-hunting in cemeteries, sunbathing at the beach, driving with the stereo at full blast, supporting local artists, and perusing the poetry and metaphysical sections at Barnes & Noble. He currently lives in Hollywood, CA with his dog, Buddy.

About Me: About Me
bottom of page